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A modern Pirates Charter for #Talklikeapirateday

Thursday 28 September 2017

Recovery4Life’s Top 8 Tips for a Healthy Pirate Ship to comply with best practice standards in Drug & Alcohol Testing, Health & Safety, HR, Occupational Health, and Health & Wellbeing

Listen up me hearties or you’ll be walkin’ the plank!

  1. Do you worry about substance misuse in the workplace? Too much rum can be a bad thing, so it’s important to make sure your vessel has a robust drug and alcohol policy and testing programme. It will keep you safe as a captain and keep the crew sharp, productive and terrifying. Insurers love it and a D&A policy needn’t cost too many pieces of 8!
  2. There are plenty of ways to test a shipmate, we would always recommend a urine test, but if the crew have drunk all of theirs because of lack of water (or because they like the taste) then we can always do an oral saliva swab or hair strand test! Sometimes an employee may require treatment, but this doesn’t mean they have to stay at the port for long and miss their boat, at Recovery4Life we specialise in getting shipmates back on board as soon as possible.
  3. However if your first mate were to fails a test or asks for help with a problem, it doesn’t always mean that they have to walk the plank! There are loads of ways to save them from the sharks, such as a robust Employee Assistance Programme. Helping your crew back onto their feet can cost a fraction of having to recruit or press-gang a new bunch of salty-sea-dogs…
  4. Does your Vessel of Swashbucklers comply with Health & Safety Standards, RIDDOR and the latest ISO900 standard for wreaking carnage across the Spanish Main? Always ensure you have conducted thorough risk assessments before you go pillaging. Running around with cutlasses on an uneven deck could be an accident waiting to happen. Always remember to have your equipment, peg legs, canon and sails properly inspected and recorded in a fully auditable quality management system, and if you need help we can direct you to a range of scurvy dogs, who can make sure everything stays shipshape and Bristol fashion!
  5. Are you a Career Pirate? Whether you’re already a Captain or an ambitious young mutineer, remember that continuous professional development is always important for both yourself and your crew. CIPD courses can help to reinvigorate and motivate the crew and develop a multi-skilled workforce. Why not take a look at a CIPD course in professional mutiny, or look at bringing on board an HR mate to help you get to grips with disciplinary matters and avoid shark-infested waters…
  6. Have you made sure your crew are all within the contract with defined Job descriptions and a clear understanding of the law of the sea? Any agreement over a job has to be more than just a spit in the hand and a handshake, and you don’t want to end up in an employment tribunal or be passed the black spot!
  7. Do you have adequate occupational health? It’s important your crew know who to go to if they sprain their peg leg or any other workplace injury. As a Captain, good occupational health is a must-have, especially if you want to demonstrate your commitment to your crew, reduce presenteeism and absenteeism and avoid a mutiny. Making sure that health surveillance – especially for scurvy – and workplace assessments are in place makes a happy ship.  Canon has to be at the right height for effective firing, and good physiotherapy will make sure that your crew can scamper up the rigging to their heart’s content!
  8. With the constant fear of mutiny and being caught and hanged by the Royal Navy, being a Pirate is not easy. A Captain has many reasons to feel stressed or worried about their shipmates and as an independent contractor working away from home on a regular basis, working long hours can take its toll. A good Health & Well-being programme will help mitigate against these conditions

We are here to help so if you have any concerns relating to any of the above issues  – substance misuse testing and mental health training and treatment then give Recovery4Life a call on xxxxx or email xxxxxx

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